The twenty crisis

If asked to describe myself, “independent” would be one of the first words to emerge. But for anyone who knows me well around, you may hear a feigned cough, disguising a subtle and obvious “stubbornly snobish remark “.  I consider myself kind and intelligent, yet I pride myself in my free-thinking and ability to take care of myself.

With all I know and all I’ve discovered, I’ve barely scratched the surface. I know this. Yet the mind often has a difficult time accepting this fact.

Though I pay to fuel up my car, the vehicle technically belongs to me parents; I may pay for my own groceries, but they’re stored in the refrigerator within my parents’ home; I regularly  share my musings on this blog, but they’re little more than the regurgitation and synthesis of others’ ideas; although I enjoy solitude, I rely on my family and friends for companionship and support. In light of these things, can I really call myself independent?

Well suddenly I have had a sudden thunder of mixed feeling . After some realization and retrospection , I found some intriguing facts which are common to all who are in their 20’s . Its not a biggie to face the truth , but the moment of truth is inevitable . With much contemplance , it seems some scale should draw a line between the contradictory thought processes propounding at the back of my head or maybe there exists some third variable into play, confounding my current thoughts .

 We experience a drive to protect that which we feel belong to us, like  I would  never want to give away my car to my younger sister from the fear of her inabilities due to lack of driving practices , or my credit card number to my best friend from the fear of misuse , be it saving a piece of novel from distant cousin , which you are sure would never return back to square one ,or going that extra mile to do something for just anybody  . But I just wonder what would happen were we to release that sense of ownership and entitlement? I recently realized that it takes a lot to release oneself to these thoughts and takes much stipulation on  the individual level to achieve a level of interdependence that ameliorates both on the personal and universal level by offering oneself selflessly to the rest of the world . I  believe that we miniature beings with miniature hearts are meant to be free, and that we are not lost when we  share our feelings, but rather expanded on and perpetuated

“Quarter-life crisis” , nobody wishes to talk about it ,  it is so common to feel alone, as though you are not  the only one facing it. It  seems as though everybody else is breezing through life, following their dreams, picking up promotions and falling into movie-worthy relationships as they go. It was easy to take onboard the flippant advice of others that “you’re young and have your whole life ahead of you” and to feel guilty or self-indulgent for harboring doubts or feelings of dissatisfaction with life. However, it came as a realization that it’s completely acceptable to have these emotions and  these thoughts are perfectly valid at this age.

To increase my satisfaction in life, I know I have to decide what i want from it. But often when I  compare myself with others and think I  want what they have, and  it’s a downfall of the pausitivity  in a go . Many define success by what they own and have, which can lead to feelings of hopelessness if one is  not where one wants to be financially. Rather than obsessing over ones status and finances, we should  take a step back and redefine success for oneself based on what  one has to offer and how one  can make a difference to others.

It can be tempting to live life from the safety of our comfort zone and to feel as though we are not good enough to achieve our dreams. However, stepping out of our comfort zone and giving things a go is not only the perfect way to break out of a rut, it is also the only way that one can have any hope of achieving the things that one wants in life.

When making plans for my future , I have realized it is important not to get too focused on time. For instance, deciding you want to own your own home by 26, be married by 27 and have kids by 28 will only make you feel despondent if life doesn’t pan out this way. Real life hardly ever works to a perfect schedule, and things will happen in their own time. So I have stopped  comparing myself with others and bear in mind that life is not a race. I have outlined my  priorities and needs , and set some goals, not only to help increase my future happiness but also to help me feel proactive and in control of life rather than a helpless back-seat driver. After setting specific goals relating to both personal life and career, I have divided ambitions into short, medium and long term goals. So now its about thinking what I want and how I can get there

Some birdie said  “Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greater success.”

Then why shouldnt be I of the thought that one should cherish a company , try to lighten up each others life with love and care , fulfill the need of companionship and hope that relationship fruits into a myraid of feelings which smoothens the obnoxious cobweb of entangled chores.